A Question for You

Composition teachers think deeply about the comments we put on papers.  What is helpful?  What will students learn from?  What will they use?  What will they ignore?

Because grading and writing comments is so time intensive, these are not idle questions.  No comments at all is not the answer; receiving a paper back without a comment opens the question, "Did she even read this?"  On the other hand, if teachers spend too much time on each paper, then the papers on the bottom of the stack don't get a timely read.

I have read and returned only 6-8 papers, and I'm about to sit down and read for an hour.  My goal:  one or two comments per paper -- comments that will be helpful, and hopefully will help you to learn something new about your writing and how it is received by others. 

I'd love to hear back from you on this.  I think I will poll the class.

The Clasp, by Sharon Olds

The Clasp

by Sharon Olds

She was four, he was one, it was raining, we had colds,

we had been in the apartment two weeks straight,

I grabbed her to keep her from shoving him over on his

face, again, and when I had her wrist

in my grasp I compressed it, fiercely, for a couple

of seconds, to make an impression on her,

to hurt her, our beloved firstborn, I even almost

savored the stinging sensation of the squeezing,

the expression, into her, of my anger,

“Never, never, again,” the righteous

chant accompanying the clasp. It happened very

fast—grab, crush, crush,

crush, release—and at the first extra

force, she swung her head, as if checking

who this was, and looked at me,

and saw me—yes, this was her mom,

her mom was doing this. Her dark,

deeply open eyes took me

in, she knew me, in the shock of the moment

she learned me. This was her mother, one of the

two whom she most loved, the two

who loved her most, near the source of love

was this.

Meet bell hooks!

Her Wikipedia article.
A YouTube video of a lecture called "Cultural Criticism & Transformation."
Another YouTube video inspired by the work of bell hooks.
An publisher's biography.

How to mark a book, by Mortimer Adler

The best, most inspiring annotation advice I know of, AND it's written by a guy named Mortimer -- posted at the Radical Academy.  Three good reasons to take a look.

Just wanted to share this blog post

Letter to my daughter in the wake of a tragedy

This is a mother, reflecting on the Tyler Clementi suicide.  She expresses what many of us feel.

About the 5-Week Progress Report

Dear Parents of Seniors:

Sorry, but I did not enter grades for the seniors on this initial progress report.  Grades are very volatile right now with so much credit/no credit in the very early weeks (some kids have 125%), and one simple homework assignment on the books. If a student missed five points on that assignment, the grade dove to a low C- — I think you'll agree that such a severe drop in percentage due to 5 points is somewhat excessive.

I did test the seniors on reading comprehension, but we agreed that I would NOT enter that score as a grade since we are treating that as a baseline, a measure of where the kids were at that early moment in our time together, before instruction really got underway


I am in the middle of grading a test and their writer's notebooks, and seniors are working on a second draft of their first major paper, the personal statement.  All of this will shake out soon, but for tonight, when the 1st 5-week progress report is due, any grade I sent home on the progress report would either be far too high, or too low. 

According to my boss, I only have to send home a grade at this point if someone is in danger of failing.  So, no news is good news.

As always, contact me with any concerns.  I am diligently working on getting the kids' tests and notebooks graded.  The district writing assessment took place today in all five of my classes,  so I collected 175 essays today.  Keeping up with the kids' grading is the hardest part of my job.  The kids always say, "Quit assigning so much work!",  but that's not the answer.  We write all year long, and the load is heavy.  The only saving grace is your understanding and patience.

Alexandra Fletcher
afletcher@busd.k12.ca.us

Vote for Alterraun Verner NFL Rookie of the Week!

Vote for Alterraun Verner, class of 2006 and former UCLA Bruin, for NFL Rookie of the Week.

First Round Revision

Seek out the Killer Be's

am - is - are - was - were - be - been - being

and the Auxiliary (Linking) Verbs

can/could, shall/should, will/would, have-has-had-may-might-must

As I said in class, these are perfectly good words, but they often signal mushy language, mushy thinking.  Look for ways to recast the sentences where these words are lurking, and utilize stronger, active, visual, MUSCULAR verbs.

NOUNS

Use specific nouns!  Why say "tree" when you can say "sugarpine"?  Learn the names of the things in beautiful world around you, and quit writing like a caveman:  "I saw a big dog."

Dreck - yucky words

awesome - bad - cool - fine - good - great - happy - interesting - look - nice - really - said - so - very basically - seems like, sort of, kind of...you get the picture.  English teachers call these the "dead word" list.
Check out #9 on this page, Top Ten Mistakes in College Writing.


Please avoid cliches!

That's it for now.  If you just work on these small changes, your writing will improve!

Scholarships!

Ms. Burford forwarded me a PDF but I can't figure out how to post the link to the document out here.  Any advice?  This seems like a pretty basic technology move, but for some reason, I don't know how to do it. 

Anyway...it's a 48-page document entitled "Paying for College Student Resource Guide", and it includes descriptions and links to scholarships, internships, fellowships, resource books, and websites.  The information is provided to you by U.S. Congresswoman Lucille Roybal-Allard.

If I can't figure out how to post the link out here, we'll start an email list, and I'll just have my TA forward the document to you via email.

Fall Writing Assessment

Seniors, we will be completing the District fall writing assessment on Wednesday, October 6. 

I like reading on-demand writing samples because I will see "raw" thinking and organizational skills.  It is a very good tool for me, as it enables me to get to know you as a writer pretty quickly -- especially because you are also in the middle of a process paper, and I am looking at notebooks.  All of these things tell me a little bit more about your skills and how you work.

Writing Notebooks #01

Working through the notebooks, period by period, 3x5=15 a day.  Fifty points available for full pages of writing.  I expect the first two days to be a little light, but hope to see better, fuller responses as the days progress. 

Our goal is to fill pages and increase fluency.  Quality is not the goal-->it's pure quantity.  I'm looking for you to get down somewhere around 250-375 words in the ten minutes alloted for this practice.  I am grading through the first 10 prompts, and looking for a short reflection on the syllabus review activity we did in class.  That reflection is worth 10 points. 

This first look is generous, meaning I'm giving points for pages, not word counts, and making only light comments. Topics are:

1. Up All Night
2. Brothers and Sisters
3. Making a Difference
4. Rebellion
5. Describe the World you Come From
6. "I Grew Up" (one visual detail)
7. An Important Teacher (outside of school)
8. Choice between 3:  
1. If a million people do a foolish thing, it is still foolish.  What do you disagree with most people on?
2. "Hell is other people." Jean-Paul Sartre "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." Barbara Streisand  Who do you identify with and why?
3. Here's an invention we could have done without.
9. Three Virtues I Admire or Respect
10. Five Things I Know for Sure

Beyond these prompts, I am looking for the syllabus reflection.

Also, I object vigorously to sharing notebook pages with any other subject.  Use the spiral notebook for ERW class only, please. 

Assignment: The Personal Statement

IMPORTANT DATES:  

• Tues, October 5:  First draft, worth 20 points, is due in class.  No credit for late papers without an excused absence from a parent.
• Fri, October 8:  We changed this deadline to accommodate Homecoming Hoopla.  The deadline for this second draft is now Tuesday, October 12:  Revised second draft with pseudonym, worth 30 points, due in class. 
• Thur, October 14:  Final paper is due in class.

• 
  

  Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
  27	28	29	30	1
  4	5	6	7	8
  11	12	13	14	15

  
  
  OK Seniors, it’s time to use the momentum we have created in three weeks of free-writing to write that personal statement.
  
  
  Goals & Objectives:
  • to experience and experiment with the Writing Process
  • to create a personal statement that you can use as the basis for future personal essays that may be required of you
  • to make all deadlines for Small Group Work and Blind Read Arounds
  • to learn to work in a Writer’s Workshop, offering and receiving feedback from classmates and from the teacher
  • to demonstrate skill and proficiency in writing through
  • a properly narrowed, controlling idea
  • supporting examples with singular, concrete detail
  • an appropriate sense of audience and rhetorical purpose;
  • minimal errors in grammar and punctuation;
  • a clear prose style appropriate to the assignment
  
  
  Specifics:
  • Your personal statement will be between 750-1000 words, double-spaced, 12pt. Times Roman with 1” margins.  Your paper will look like a picture in a frame.
  • Your heading on the first page will include your name, the title of this class and assignment (ERW: Personal Statement), and the date).  The heading will be single spaced and left justified. 
  • Skip two lines, and center a title on the page.  The title must be 12pt. Times Roman and in regular type: not underlined, not bold.  Good titles come from the content of the personal statement.  You absolutely, positively may NOT use “Personal Statement” as a title.
  • Subsequent pages will feature your first initial and last name, and the page number, left justified and 1” from the top.  (I will show you how to set this up.)
  • Please use the writing skills and techniques we will cover during class: use of concrete, sensory detail; correct usage of one semi-colon; correct comma usage in introductory phrases; one short sentence for emphasis.
  
  
  
  TOPICS FOR THE PERSONAL STATEMENT
  
  
  CHOICE A:  From the University of California
  
  
  1. Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
  
  
  2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
  
  
  CHOICE B:  Prompts from the Common Application (www.commonapp.org)
  3. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
  4. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.
  5. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
  6. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.
  7. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
  1. Here is a link to a blogger who has this year's prompts.  This blog looks pretty interesting -- you may want to browse a little.  Beware of anyone who is trying to charge you money. 
  CHOICE C: 
  8. Your choice.  You may create your own prompt, use the prompt from the college of your choice, browse the University of Chicago prompts (one prompt that caught my attention this year:  "Find x"), or choose one of the “100 College Admission Essay Prompts" that I have in my red folder.  Here's a link to a site with prompts.
  ASSESSMENT:
  • The Personal Statement is worth 130 points, as follows:
  • Draft 1:  20 points – typed, in-class on the correct day, full participation in Small Group Work
  • Draft 2:  30 points – REVISED draft, typed, in-class on the correct day, full participation in Blind Read Around
  • Final Draft:  50 points, scored on a 6-Traits Rubric
  • Daily Participation:  30 points — 3 points a day divided randomly among the 15 days of the unit.  Everyone starts the day with 3 points; I dock points if I observe behavior that is off topic or distracting.